okay, seriously now.

haha i look back at my recent posts and they have been oh so boring. and vague. so im going to take some time now to recap and reflect!

the past few weeks have been crazy crazy hectic. especially this past week, because i had my history 5 exam the past friday. through all of this, i was mad struggling to keep my head above the surface so i could gasp a few breaths here and there. im telling you, not a very pleasant block of time. it was definitely my fault that i haven't been studying (i started learning the material the saturday before). i can't entirely blame schoolwork or busyness from activities and events, although they did contribute to my stress. speaking of stress, i cannot believe i didn't lose any weight from the constant anxiety and my suppressed appetite HAHAHA, anywaaaaaay...

i believe this is a good time to insert some reflecting i've been doing a lot these past few days.
all this past week, i am sorry to say that i have not been relying on the big G up there at all. i was really too dependent on myself, thinking that i could pull through if i just pushed everything else aside and crammed all the studying in. i guess i did mumble a few quick, half-hearted prayers here and there, but i wouldn't say that i truly gave it up to God. not until thursday did it really HIT me that God was always there for me through whatever i was going through the past couple weeks. wednesday night, i pushed aside all my school and piano stuff and tried to shove things in my brain, therefore i didn't study for the bio quiz i had the next day. right now in bio we're learning about the human system, and the quiz was on the transport/circulatory and immune systems. it's heavy stuff, and it requires much effort and going through the material. anyway, basically i left that until 12:30 am and right before going to bed i said, "oh, i'll just look through the stuff and if i bomb it, whatever". so i quickly just scanned through my notes for about 15 minutes and crashed.

the next day, during piano class i studied history with my friend, and i swear i inhaled my lunch and nerded in the library for an hour. i kind of looked over my bio notes, but really, it wouldn't have helped anyway. when i walk into bio during fourth, my friend told me that the quiz was postponed for friday, since our teacher wasnt there for either tuesday or wednesday's classes. BOY was i relieved. and since i wouldnt be there on friday cause of the exam, im doing the quiz tomorrow! later on that night, it was then i realized that it was God helping me out here, cutting me some slack. even though i sinned and was lazy, procrastinated, etc, he still showed me mercy and compassion and helped me out here. coincidence? i don't think so.

after school, i went to Noel's house to study last minute things. i stayed there practically the whole night. i went home and attempted more cramming of information but really, i was prepared to go into the exam the next day and fail. however, my inner pushy self wouldn't let me or something and i still studied the next morning, trying to memorize the stuff i needed to know. when i got there, i was honestly so nervous i felt like i was gonna pass out or something LOL. surprisingly, the exam wasn't completely terrible. some of it was like "wth, we didnt need to know this" but mostly it was okay, and the essays weren't difficult. i am pretty confident that i passed (yay!!) but then again, you never know what's gonna be thrown at you. even if i do fail though, i'm taking this as a lesson and a consequence from my actions. or in this case, lack of action.

where am i going with this? God has been here for me through and THROUGH. He gave me AWESOME support from my friends and even my family. my mom didn't extreme scold me or anything, and although she was disappointed i didn't study better, she didn't want me to freak out over such a teeny insignificant thing in the bigger picture. so many people wished me luck and prayed for me, and you have no idea how much i appreciate these little things. like, even the girl who sits beside me in English texted me in the morning to wish me luck. Didomites i don't always talk to messaged me to tell me they'd be praying, and also to ask how my exam went. friends prayed for me continuously and encouraged me so much. others reminded me to catch up on sleep and not to worry about my results. :P God showed me with his unconditional love that he'll never leave me and He will never forget about me... even when i forget about Him.

so once again, God is good. :)